Reflections of relationships and self

So, here I am, it’s a Thursday, and I’m in that afternoon lull.  You see, I’m most productive between the hours of 9-2ish….anything after, it’s likely not my best work.  I am here writing because I am making a promise to myself and I guess this blog, that I am going to devote more time to writing.  To really give this thing a go and see where I can take it.  But first, I need to start writing.

Today I’ve chosen to write about relationships because it has been a hot topic lately, considering I got married this past weekend! 🙂  Relationships take all forms, last all different lengths of time, and each one teaches us something, whether we realize it or not.  My very first relationship taught me a lot.  It taught me about status and how to treat others.  This person was someone I thought I was going to marry! Oh boy was I wrong, and thank goodness I was.  That break up was a rough one for me.  I didn’t think I would ever love again.  Hell, I didn’t think I would even survive that. But I did, and I’m grateful for my relationship with him, as weird as that sounds.  I wouldn’t be where I am today without it.  It taught me a lot about what I did want out of a relationship, what I didn’t want out of one, what I wanted to put in a relationship, and everything in between.

That’s what is awesome about relationships.  Even when they don’t work out, you learn from them and eventually you figure it out.  I’ll admit, it did take me a long time to fully move on from that heartache.  In fact, it probably took years.  But now, I am happily married to the love of my life, Carson.


But – even Carson and I didn’t have the fairy-tale smooth sailing start to our relationship.  You see, Carson and I met in college, and he also happens to be 2 years younger than me. (Does that make me a cougar?)  Regardless, Carson and I “saw” each other for a semester and then went our separate ways for 2 years.  Well, we never really separated completely.  We stayed in contact (although not a ton) and saw each other occasionally when I would come home from CO to visit.  I’ll never forget the card that I wrote Carson when I was moving to CO.  I told him what I had learned from him, (which was to spend more time enjoying life and laughing) and what I hoped he had learned from me (that love really does exist).  I knew it was a risk to put that, but I knew if I didn’t tell him, I’d regret it forever.  He still has that card to this day.  🙂  But what I’m getting at is that life is full of experience, some bad, some good.

Carson and I test each other on a weekly, shit sometimes daily, basis.  Mainly we test each others patience!  But there is absolutely no one else that I would want to do this with.  We have come such a long way.  We have learned to trust each other more, to let our guards down, to love more, to communicate better, etc.  Our relationship isn’t rainbows and butterflies all the time.  In fact, it’s actually hard work.  But after awhile, you kinda know if you’re in a relationship for the long haul or not.  And I freaking love that man, even though he drives me crazy sometimes.  So if you’re reading this Carson Jasper, I love you!


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