Approximately 9 weeks ago, I up and quit my “corporate” job. In fact, I didn’t even give a 2 week notice, I actually walked out. It was that bad. I’ve never done that before. Never in my life did I ever think I would do that, nor do I plan to do it again. I know it wasn’t the “right” thing to do, but here’s how it got to that point.
1. Within the first two weeks of starting my boss had mentioned getting our goals together for the upcoming year. I thought to myself, “Sounds great to me!” I figured we would work on them together, but no, I was way off. In fact, I didn’t even get a say in any of them. I was shocked. How do they expect me to have “skin in the game” when I am just signing some piece of paper? So, me being me, I questioned it. I talked to my supervisor on the phone about it, she circled round and round, and eventually said I could have a few weeks to look them over and come up with suggestions. That was a start.
However, during those next couple weeks, I also questioned the training, or lack thereof, that I had received. Therefore, rocking the boat some more. (I seem to be good at this.) So, when the time came to sign my goals for the next year, I was afraid to rock the boat, so I just went along with what they had put down for me. I know, I know. How stupid, huh? This was just the start of me suppressing my feelings and trying not to create waves.
2. Our workforce was running on empty. They hard no spark left, no light in their eyes. They had been worked to the bone the previous summer and fall. When I suggested an incentive system to the production manager, he pretty much laughed at me. Our conversation went something like this,
Me: We really need to do something with the employees or this is going to get worse. We need to make them have some skin in the game and make it a win/win for them and the company. An incentive to get them to make more parts per hour and package more parts per hour.
Production Manager: Their incentive is to keep their job.
Me: Ok then. Noted. (As I walk out of the office feeling completely defeated.)
What the hell kind of place had I gotten myself into? This wasn’t at all the place it was when I interviewed. I kept trying to tell myself there was a light at the end of the tunnel, kept trying to believe what people were telling me, but unfortunately the light wasn’t there.
I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t fake a smile, or fake a happy HR lady persona, and I sure as hell couldn’t sell this company to prospective employees. I know my moral compass will not line up perfectly with each employer that I have. I would be naive to think that. However, I do want there to be more aligned than there is not aligned. This why I had to leave, and why I walked out on that Tuesday morning and never looked back.
But holy shit was that scary! Still to this day I can’t believe I walked out. Me? The HR person walking out? WTF?! But, to this day it has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I took two weeks “off” of work, which was a mutually agreed upon decision that my fiance and I made together. I was able to spend time focusing on myself, thinking about what I actually want to do, figuring out what is most important to me, deciding where/what I want to devote my resources to, etc.
Right around the end of the second week of not working I got a call for a temporary position recruiting at a trucking company. I wasn’t really jumping for joy at the thought of recruiting for a trucking company, but the pay was right (same as I was making), the hours were fine, and there was a light at the end of this tunnel, it was only temporary.
So, here I am 9 weeks later at my temporary position, on a Monday and feeling really good. I can’t begin to list all of the reasons why I feel this good, or list all of the things I’ve learned from this experience, it’d take way too much typing. But, all I know is that life is too short to be miserable, too short to feel “stuck” where you are, too short to not be doing what you love or at least taking steps towards it.
A mentor of mine that I recently had lunch with said this to me, “Life is hard enough as it is, don’t keep looking back and wondering what if. You must always look forward”. So that’s what I’m trying to do, one day at a time.